PIN MONEY FOR YA DRESS

I remember one day wey I see one of my fellow worker pin money for her dress. I come ask her why she do am, den she tell me say na her baiday. "Ok, na ya baiday, but why you come pin money for ya dress?" Den she come tell me say na money wey people give her for office wey she pin for her dress.

I don notice say for work place, if na ya baiday people go give you money so dat you go pin am for ya dress. Dis one go make any oda pessin wey see am to know say na ya baiday and dem go donate for you too. I don see as some people go pin money until ee go reach dia knee.

De main reason for dis pining money tin na for dos wey no get time to buy gift or card for you to still do sometin to show say dem dey wish you happy baiday. One of my female coworker ask me to donate money for her baiday one time like dat. And for you to donate, you get to pin de money by ya sef.

You need to see me as I dey struggle with de pin and also dey try to make sure say I no "inappropriately" touch her blom-blom. I no lie you, de tin big sha and my eye take style dey look anoda tin as I dey pin my $5 for her dress. For hia sexual harassment na very easy tin for pessin to put for ya head. So most guys wey no get liver go just give de woman de money to pin by her sef. But as most tins for hia get double standard, de women no dey feel any shame when dem dey pin de money for men shirt (aftarall no be wetin we like?).


NIGERIAN NEWS, NIGERIAN NEWSPAPER, OSHIOMHOLE,  OBASANJO, BUHARI, AMAECHI, TINUBU, GEJ, KESHI, SUPER EAGLES, CHELSEA, WIZKID, DAVIDO, LINDA IKEJI, DON JAZZY,
JAY Z, OBAMA, JUSTIN BIEBER, DRAKE, CHRIS BROWN

YANKEE AND NUMBERS

If you don stay for dis yankee for some time, you go sabi say plenty part of dem life connect well well with numbers. Dem go describe most tins like pessin weight or how long ya travel go be or wetin weather be outside with numbers.

For hia, pessin weight na very serious mata, especially for women dem. Na so everybody dey check dem weight, so dat dem fit know weda dem don gain or lose weight. And dem dey measure am for pounds (we ma dey use kilograms). When some women just gain sometin like 5 pounds, ee go be like say world don end for dem. Na so dem go dey try everytin to lose de weight. And de sharp business men don sabi dis one. Na so dem go dey full TV with different advert of how to lose weight.

ADOPTION- how to turn anoda pessin pikin to ya own

I wan make you imagine de kind tins wey been dey go on for my mind when one of my co-workers introduce him pikin to me. My co-worker na white woman, and her pikin na black boy. Initially I been tink say I no hia detin wey she tell me. I been tink say my ear dey deceive me. Ee take me some time to process wetin just happen. Why de tin surprise well well, I no really know!!

Well, may be na sake of say dat time, I still dey new to yankee and I neva too dey familiar with dem culture of adoption. Na later I come find out say de tin dey very common for hia. Some couples fit decide to no born pikin of dem own, and dem go go adopt. Now color no dey too mata when people dey adopt.

Plenty times I don meet family where plus de ones wey dem born, dem go adopt one or two more pikin. And dem go talk about am like say na normal tin. Sometimes when husband and wife don train de pikin wey dem born, and de house don empty, dem go adopt oda small pikin. I remember my professor wey supervise my project..., him show me photo of him pikin dem. Only three out of de eight pikin wey him show me be de ones wey him and him wife born!

BASEMENT

Ee neva too tey wey tornado visit two small towns for Illinois state- Rochelle and Fairdale. No be small tin oo! De tin level the place. All de houses for de two towns disappear, and na so property scatter everywhere. For hia, dem dey like build house with wood and plastic sheets, and when any of de big breeze come, na so ee go knack dia house fall like paper.

But de good tin be say na only one pessin die and some wey get wound for dis tornado. Normally dis kind tornado dey kill plenty people. De tin wey dey save some na say dem house get hole for ground wey dem dey call basement. Once dat strong wind don begin come, na so all man go rush go under ground to go hide. If you no get basement ,you go enter ya bathtub and cover ya sef well well.

PRENUP

"For better or for worse, till death do us part.....,". No oo...., pastor you go slow down with dat ya talk oo! For yankee na for beta for best! Nobody get time for worse oo! If ya money finish, na bye bye until forever! So na im make most men wey don make plenty money no wan take chances with dis gold diggers wey dey everywhere. Dem go make you sign paper wey go stop you to collect half of dem property.

You see for hia,divorce na normal tin oo! You wake up and no like to see ya wife or husband face, you go just divorce am. People no get patience at all when ee come to settle marriage mata. Some go even make excuse just to make sure say dem end de marriage.

MAKE WE HAIL DE ALMIGHTY C.P.S!!!

If you get pikin for dis country, de number one pipo wey you suppose fia well well na CPS. CPS full name na Child Protective Services. Dis na de guys wey go come collect ya pikin for ya hand if dem feel say you no dey take proper care of dem as govment want. I say eh..., dos pipo don rearrange plenty families like as pessin dey shuffle whot. Once dem land ya house, dem no get time to yan with you, dem go use police carry ya pikin comot. And if dem feel say ya case serious, dem go arrest you join.

I don see pipo especially single mama dem wey don lose dem pikin for some kind simple tins like dem pikin dey play den come get wound. CPS go say na "child endangerment". Parents dey fia to correct dem pikin because dem no wan enter any wahala with dos pipo. If you flog ya pikin, give am mark and ya pikin teacher see am for skool, you don buy mrket be dat. And most children understand dis one and dem dey use am threaten dem papa and mama. If you wan correct ya pikin, den dem go remind you of CPS.

CAR MORTGAGE

One of my guys lose him moto today. De company wey him buy de car from come tow de car from him house. Dem talk say him neva pay him car note for dis months wey just pass. Car note na small small payments wey him supposed to dey pay every month until him finish to pay for de moto. And na moto wey him don dey pay for since one year now. Just because say him miss to pay for one month, dem come collect de car! Dis one no good at all na.

Na im make me I no like anytin wey pessin fit buy as mortgage. For ya mind you go tink say na ya property, and you go dey denge dey pose with am. But you don forget say na borrow pose wey you carry so. When you no come pay ya monthly dues, na dat time you go sabi say na rent wey you rent dat tin.

YOU GO SLEEP FOR COUCH DIS NIGHT!!

For some of my old post, I don talk as how de babes for hia dey behave different from naija babes. No be small tin for hia oo! For hia de babes open eye well well, and like I don talk before, de laws hia dey side with dem too much. Dis one don give dem too much freedom to do anyhow when dem like.

My friend tell me wetin happen to am recently wey make me laff well well. Him and him girlfriend been get small quarrel and den de babe tell am to go sleep for couch wey dey for palour. When I hia dis one, laff no gree me breath at all.

LIBRARY FOR EVERY TOWN

Na just recent wey I notice say library na very important tin wey you go see for every town. No mata how small de town be for yankee, you go see police station, post office and city hall and den library. I been dey dis small town wey dem dey call Troup for Texas. Dis na town wey de population no reach one thousand people.

So I decide to enter de library to see wetin dey happen inside. Ee get books as usual, and den I see computer with internet wey get very fast speed. Dis na place wey dey like any village for naija. De whole inside full with books. Everytin dey well arranged and in order.