TYPICAL YANKEE APARTMENT(FLAT) part 1

For dos wey no know wetin apartment(flat) for yankee be like, dem go learn new tins from dis post. And dos wey dey live for apartment for yankee go agree with me. I purposely wan talk about apartments because na de one I sabi well well and na de most common type of "house" wey people dey live. And na de one wey my money reach. I neva get enough money to rent or buy house.

Now you need to understand say de way wey we de use dat word- house, no be de same way dem dey use am here. House for here na place wey get im own separate compund and sometimes im own fence. And you no get to share anytin with any oda person.

First tin you need to know na de way wey you suppose pay rent. Every first of de month, you get to pay ya rent. No abeg, no story! If you no pay on time, na for outside you go find ya tins. Landlords for hia no dey play at all at all!

And you no fit just decide to pack out anytime wey you like. Dis one na because you no wan break de contract wey you don sign before you pack in. If you wan pack out before ya contract end, den you get to pay PENLTIES. And dis one fit mean say you go pay all de rest months rent wey remain for ya contract.

No mata were you find apartment for yankee, all of dem get dis same tins inside- de doors na white, de walls and ceiling too na white and de windows dey slide up and down. De palour and kitchen dey usually join together. You go sidon for ya palour dey see everytin for ya kitchen. And den de toilet and bathroom dey always dey de same room.

And de wall for de apartment dey usually be wood. If you nack ya hand for de wall, ee go vibrate for de oda side. Every room get alarm for incase of smoke or fia. Every Naija person don learn dey hard way to dey very careful to cook with palm oil. De kitchen suppose get fridge and electric stove. De apartment need to get central AC/heater and water heater for ya shower.

And when ee come to privacy, well dat one get as ee be. De caretaker get right to enter ya apartment anytime wey dem like. If dem wan inspect or fumigate ya place, dem get right to enter, even if you no dey around. So you always get to hide ya private tins like food or money or  sex toys so dat nobody go touch am or spray anytin ontop of am!

Some apartment complex go ban you to smoke inside de house (because of de alarm), some no go allow you to get any pets, odas go tell you how many friends you need to allow to sleep for ya house overnight. You fit get quit notice if you break even de smallest law wey de apartment owners get for de place.

You fit live for de place for years and you no go even know who de owner of de place wey you dey live be. Dis na because say na caretake dey usually run de apartments. To pay rent, report about anytin wey spoil for ya place, or sign contract, you need to go through the caretaker.

For de apartment wey I dey stay now, my caretaker dey very nice. She no dey give me any wahala like de former place wey I been stay. She go call or put notice for my door to inform me before she enter my place. If I travel and I no fit pay my rent on time, she go wait until I come back.

But for my former place, de iron lady no send anybody. De care taker for my former place go "inspect" de complex every evening to find out who dey break any law so dat she go nack de pessin with quit notice! Everybody been hate her!!

I like de place wey I dey now, but my plan na to move out to new place. And dat one go be for my own house. I don tire to dey rent. Na God I dey look to helep me achieve dis one!!

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