MY NAIJA ACCENT

“Hmmmm…., dat accent no from around here. You sound like person from foreign country”. Dis na wetin I dey hia almost every day. “Where you from?” go be de next quesion. My usual answer na “Najia”. But with time I come begin tell dem "Carribean". Even if I tell dem France, dem no go know weda na true or na lie (most yankee people no know anytin outside dem country).

Den you go come see patronizing, “oh I love ya accent” or “I always like to hia you speak”. I dey always take am as compliment. And I realize say I dey always say tank you. Why I dey say “tank you”, me I no sabi.

But I later come notice say no be everybody like my accent. In fact some no even understand wetin I dey talk sometimes.

Na so I go dey repeat wetin I talk like broken record. Dat tin go dey vex me like crase (lol). And sometimes I go dey roll tongue just to make sure say I try pronounce de word like dem dey pronounce am. For example, I wan say wata, but I go change de “t” to “r”- wara. If you start dat tongue twisting new, ee dey pain for tongue no be small.

I remember de time when I been do part time chemistry teaching job for de secondary skool wey dey near my area, I come realize instantly say my accent go be my biggest problem to teach. Na so I dey spell almost everytin wey I talk for board. “I don’t understand you” be wetin I dey hia from de students almost all de time.

If I go de “drive-tru” section of most fast food restaurant to buy food, na de same tin. I go raise my voice, I go talk slowly, but dem go claim say dem no hia me. Den wetin I come begin do na to call de number of de food I wan buy. Since de food dem get numbers, I go just pick any number.

Some people go even ask you tins like, “you learn english for hia?”. And den when I tell dem say I already sabi speak am before I come yankee, na shock I go see for dem face. Den dem go ask me with surprise “so people sabi speak english for Naija?”. I don hia dis quesion tire.

And den ee get some wey go just wan take you play. Even de simple tins wey you know say dem suppose understand, dem go pretend like say dem no know wetin you talk. When I meet dos kind people, na “neva mind” go be my next response. I no get time for rubbish!

I don begin understand why people dey travel go back Najia and begin speak funey. When I been dey Naija and I see when somebody dey talk with American accent, I been dey tink say dem just dey form. But now I know why. Dis yankee people go make you forget ya Naija accent if you no dey careful. Before you go know wetin don happen to you, na so you go also butcher de name wey ya papa and mama give you. I say eh, dis guys go begin mess with ya name sotey you go come rearrange ya name for dem. You go change Oluwatunde to Tundi or Amarachi to Ama.

Abi na de countless number of Naija people wey don lose dem telephone job interview. You don hammer dem with ya straight A’s or ya solid second class upper or first class, and den when de person wey dey interview you come hia ya accent, na so him voice tone go change and den next tin you go hia na “we will get back at you!”. Dat one na bye bye forever.

But wetin wey dey trip me pass for dis accent tin be say yankee people no dey come Najia and den come change de way wey dem dey speak. I neva see any foreigner for Naija wey later drop im foreign accent. If any anybody don see, abeg make you let me know.

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