WETIN NAIJA STUDENTS DEY GO THROUGH FOR AMERICAN SKOOLS.

As pessin wey don work for de skool system for yankee, I believe say I get enough experience of dis tin wey I wan talk about. Naija and even sef African students no dey find am easy for yankee schools. Especially for secondari skool wey dem dey call highskool for hia, dis students dey suffer discrimination.

American students dey normally see dis African students like local people. Na so de yankee students dem go dey yab dem and use dem dey play. Even dos yankee students wey dey even try to come near dem dey use am as opportunity to dey ask nonsense questions, just to mock dem. 

Dos wey dey carry dis tin for head pass na de Akata students. Dem no dey even fit hide dia hatred for African students. Na so dem go dey call dem different types of names, dey bully dem, and sometimes dem go just gang up to dey beat African students.

And dis tin dey make de African children to feel inferior, and to dey stay on dia own, and to dey see skool hia as punishment. Even sef ee get anoda tin wey dey happen hia. Dos children wey Africans born for yankee dey even avoid African students wey grow up for dem country before dem come yankee. I dey tell you! Some dey go as far as to deny dem roots. If you ask dem where dem come from, dem go call de state wey dem born dem. 

And dat accent wey most African students get, dey make dem stand out. No mata how dem try, de accent go still dey dia. Na serious issue here oo, but unfortunately ee no dey get much attention for hia. Even when dis children complain to dia papa and mama, wetin dem go hia na "Just endure and use ya good grades to shut up dia mouth". Dis kind talk na im oyibo dey call "easier said than done." Chai!

And de ones wey go try to blend in, as in to dress like de yankee students or talk like dem no dey usually end well. As dem go dey try too hard to gain de approval of de American children, na so dem go end up for different kind wahala. Either dem go join gang, end up for jail, or de girls go begin born pikin for dem papa house. 

But tank God say most African children dey end up as good adults. Na dos ones you go dey hia dia excellent performance for university, as dem go dey break record constantly. We tank God for dos ones. But if you talk to dem, you still hia de bad experiences wey dem get to endure for skool. 

And na im make I wan advice any pessin wey im pikin dey skool hia already, or you dey plan to relocate to yankee with ya pikin dem, make you plan am well oo. As per your pikin education, make sure say you know de skool very well, dis na because dis bullying tin dey worse for some skools, so make you choose wisely. And take am serious anytin wey your pikin tell you about wetin im dey go through.

DOWNLOAD THIS E-BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09RJW7QNR

GUN SHOPS, GUN SHOWS and SHOOTING RANGE

 

Na wa oo. See me see wahala oo! Na so one of my friends call me for dis past weekend say make I follow am go SHOOTING RANGE. Dis one na place wey you fit go practice how to shoot. See me wey dey fia gun like no man business.

But as pessin wey dey like experience new tins, and I no wan behave like fia fia man, na so I gree go with am. Omo, gun range no be anyhow place oo! If you no get mind, you no go fit enter de place. Dem get different sections for a typical gun range. Ee get place wey you go go sign ya name. Dem go run security check for ya name to see weda you dey legal to handle "fire arm"(gun).

CHRISTMAS FOR YANKEE NO DEY SWEET

Boooooorrriiiinnnggg!!!(for Mercy Johnson voice). Nna men, Christmas day for dis place dey like house arrest oo! No be small tin! Na so everybody dey indoors dey celebrate. Nothing much to do than to sidon for house dey chop and drink. 

Make you forget dos Christmas movies wey una don watch oo! Dat one na film tricks. Yes tins dey fine outside during Christmas. Decoration dey plenty everywhere, lights and colors everywhere. But, as per flexing, nothing much dey happen for Christmas day.

SEX OFFENDERS and dia yamayama life.

Imagine when you go comit some kind offence, and you don serve ya time finish for yonda, de govment go come force you to register for dem website say you been do dis kind bad tin!

Dis one na wetin go happen to you if become sex offender. Weda na pikin you knack (0-17 years), or na adult wey you rape, you must register as sex offender for any place wey you go ever live. And once you pack, you must inform govment and you go need to register ya new address for dat local govment website wey you pack go.

And if na small pikin wey you been sleep with, you no go ever live near any school, or any place we small pikin dem dey meet. You no go ever get work for any place wey small pikin dem dey meet like-school.

And make you no even try to decieve govment people oo! If you fall any of dis new rules when dem don give you, na back to angola wey you go find ya sef. Dis one na proper life sentence oo. You dey find work na problem, you wan be teacher, dat one no go happen. Even sef if you no careful, you fit lose ya children. Before you rent house, you must check weda school dey near de place.

But if we come check as tins dey happen for naija, sex offenders dey enjoy oo! With ya money, you fit beat de case. And with de stigma wey dey follow rape, most people no dey fit get mind to report to police. And na so plenty people especially females just dey fall victims to dis heartless people. Na only God go save pessin for dis we naija sef!

And dis one come make me remember those awa HONORABLES wey go yankee come show dem sef. I sure say una know wetin I dey talk about. lol!

DOWNLOAD THIS E-BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09RJW7QNR

MAKE YOU CHECK DIS ONE OUT

My people, how una dey? Yes oo...! De run away soldier don return. And I don come back with plenty tory for una. I dey sure say una don miss me tire. But make una no worry, I don come back and I no dey run again.

 

But for de meantime, if you get access to amazon.com, you fit check out dis ogbonge ebook wey go teach you one or two interesting tins about dat state for naija. De book good well well and ee go dey very interesting for dos small small pikins for ya side.

DOWNLOAD AM and ENJOY!! click here

DE AMISH PEOPLE

You know say when pessin say wondas shall neva end!, dat pessin dey talk about sometin wey really surprise am? Yes dat one happen to me recently. I find out about dis people wey dem dey call Amish for de frst time.

I dey drive for road one day, den I come see dis guy and im woman been dey drive dem horse and cart. Dis one na wetin I see for township. Na sometin wey I no eva tink say I fit see for dis side of town.

TAPIOKA or ABACHA

Abeg oo my naija brodas and sistas for yankee, una fit tell me where I fit buy some tapioka for dis country. I don check walmart, krogers, brookshires for dis tin, and none of dem get am. I done waka up and down to find me some cassava flakes to chop, and nobody get am.

Lol..., but seriously I no know wetin just do me today, but from nowhere tapioka just enter my head. And when ee enter my head, ee take style shock me, like seriously!! Na dis tin wey oyibo dey call flashback. And make I tell you..., de flashback really take me go places..., I swear!!

AKATA WOMEN BEEN DEY BREASTFEED OYIBO PIKIN DEM

If you don watch dat film wey im name na THE HELP, you go see as life been dey for yankee around 1950s. Dat time, na mostly akata women dey do house helep work for onyibo women. And dat time, na de most popular work wey akata women fit get.

But dis tin no really start today. Even for way back, na akata women been dey take care of onyibo pikin dem. Wetin dat one mean na say onyibo pikin dey spend more time with akata house helep pass dem own mama.

And I believe say dat one dey make akata women to no get too much time to spend with dem own pikin dem. But I fit dey wrong about dis one, na just sometin wey I dey tink.

'LOVE' TATTOOS

I no like tattoo since time imo river. I no fit see my sef enter tattoo palor, den com sidon make anoda pessin use pin dey chook my body with dat dem electric pin. And den come begin inject my body with dem ink. My body na no go area for tattoo.

But when I look around, na so almost every pessin get tattoo for body. People dey get am for every part of dem body. Just tink of any part, somebody get tattoo for dat area. And tattoo business her dey very big. Na none stop customers wey dem dey get.

NAIRA VS DOLLAR EXCHANGE RATE

Dis post na some kind of true confession. All of us know say aside from de beta life wey we dey travel abroad for, anoda big reason wey we dey travel abroad and de country wey we dey choose, dey depend on de exchange rate of de currency of dat country money to NAIRA.

Why wey dey like to travel to countries like USA, Canada, UK and so on, na because dem currency dey high. Na one of de reason me I decide to come yankee. When you make dat dollar and den press ya calculator to see how much ee be for naira, ee dey give you confido.

YOU NO FIT SEND ANY SMALL PIKIN MESSAGE FOR YANKEE

You know..., sometimes ee get de kind of tins wey you see or experience around you for dis yankee wey go make you miss naija. Some kind tins wey you fit do or say for naija and no mean any tin, but if you do am for hia, ee fit land you for serious wahala.

To discipline pikin hia na no no. No even tink am! Even sef, you no get right to discipline ya pikin de way you want. If you do dat one, na im be say na police attention wey you dey find. I know some parents wey dey even fia dem own pikin wey dem born.

AKATA COMEDIANS

One of de ways wey I dey take pass time when I no get anytin to do, na to go for youtube to watch jokes from stand up comedy. Sometimes, I go spend hours just dey watch stand up comedy. I go watch white, akata, latino and even naija stand up comedian.

But I dey usually enjoy akata stand up comedy. De style of dis comedians just dey different. Dem no get filter for dem mouth when ee come to POLITICALLY CORRECT topics. Dem go talk about any and every tin. Dem no send at all.

DARK SKIN vs LIGHT SKIN

Among akata people for hia, dem get dis tin wey dem dey always argue about. Dat tin na de color of dem skin. Yes oo! Dos wey get light skin dey tink say dem beta pass dos wey get dark skin. And dos wey get dark skin no like light skin people.

Dis tin wey I dey tell you be VERY serious mata for hia. Ee dey even cause serious quarel for among family members. Light skin family members dey feel say dem beta pass dos wey get dark skin. Even sef some parents dey show more love to de pikin dem wey get light skin. Dis na sometin wey I don witness with my own korokoro eyes.

WE FOR YANKEE SUPPOSE TANK GOD FOR SOME KIND TINS WEY WE DEY ENJOY FOR HIA

To begin talk say yankee no get light problem go be very old tory. Yes we know say when ee come to steady light, we naija no fit compare to yankee people. But I dey hia say light don dey dey steady small small since oga Buhari take ova.

Abi na oda tins like say nobody still dey wash cloth for hand, or say wata dey reach everybody house, or say coal tar reach ya very domot e.t.c. Ee get oda plenty plenty tins wey dey for dis yankee wey dey make life to dey very easy for pessin.

No wonda say afta we wey be foreigners complain of how dem dey treat us bad (racism) and how we dey miss we country, still nobody wan go back to where im come from. Deep down you know for ya mind say tins for hia still beta pass where you come from.

BACKGROUND CHECK

For dis place eh, dem go check you up and down, even sef ee remain dem to check ya pant to see weda you get anytin wey you dey hide. I dey talk dis one as ee take concern de tin wey dem dey call background check. Afta you don apply for work, or even as you dey fill de application form, you go see space wey dem go ask you if you do commit any crime before.

If you like make you lie, dat one concern you. Afta you don submit ya application form, dem go run background check with police to find out weda wetin you talk for ya form na true or na lie. And make God helep you say you no talk true.

MY YANKEE FRIEND NO GO LET ME REST

Dis people no wan let me rest anytime dem come my house when I dey cook. Na so I go dey hia tins like- wetin be dat? Na wa oo..., wetin die for ya house? Wetin be dat tin wey you like to cook wey dey smell like rat wey don die for long?

See me see wahala oo! How wetin I dey cook for my own house come dey concern dem like dis? Anyway sha..., de tin wey dey worry my friends nose na my crayfish and dry fish wey I dey use cook. Dis na sometin wey no dey common hia. Even sef, most people hia no even know say you fit dry fish.

Anytime pessin wey I know travel to naija, I dey always get plenty supply for soup tins. Me I like to cook naija food for hia. Dem fast food no dey gree master my body.

But my friends dey always like my food anytime when I cook am finish. Dem go chop and almost lick plate. So de tin dey surprise me as dem no fit stand de smell of crayfish and dried fish.

Well me I don dey use to de smell sotey ee no dey even enter my mind say dis tins get bad smell. and me I no get any plan to stop to use dis tins when I dey cook. My yankee friends just need to adjust dem nose to de smell of my ingredients oo!!

MARTIN LUTHER KING BOULEVARD

As me and one of my friends been dey stroll for him moto one day, we reach one junction like dat. Den I come tell am to turn left so dat we fit see wetin dey dat street. My friend say lai lai him no go enter dat street for dis night.

'Ah ah.., wetin do de street?', be wetin I come ask am. My guy come tell me say dis side of town na de rough side- na de south side. I come later find out say de name of de street na MLK boulevard. Dis na short form for Martin Luther King boulevard.

MY FIRST RODEO

How many of una don ride horse before? For dos of una wey don ride am, how de tin dey feel for body? Me I neva fit get de mind to climb horse back. Ee dey always dey me like say de horse go fling me like stone from catapult.

Now na how many of una don ride cow? Yes I mean nama! Lol. I know say dat quesion get as ee be. But make dat one no too surprise you oo! Dis na because for hia for yankee, ee get one kind special sports wey people dey ride cow. Dem dey call am RODEO.

TRANSGENDER PEOPLE

No be small tin oo! Pessin wey God create finish, go look im sef for mirror den decide by im sef say God been make mistake to create am as man or woman. Den dat pessin go use im own hand come change im sef to anoda tin. Cold catch me for dis one!!

I tink by now everybody don sabi say for yankee, de tin wey dem claim say dem get yanfu yanfu na say everybody get de freedom to do anytin wey dem like, unless say dem no break any law. But if you don live for dis country tey, you go sabi say dat talk about freedom no be as dem dey talk am.

TYPICAL BEER PALOR FOR YANKEE

If you be kind of guy wey like to go drink beer palor and you dey for dis country, you go notice de big difference between naija beer palor and beer palor for yankee. De first big difference na say for hia, dia beer palor dey sell almost any type of alcohol wey you fit think of, from beer to wine to all kinds of kai kai.

And dem dey sell dia beer from special tap. Dem go serve you de beer for draft (dis na regular glass cup) or pitcher (dis na big glass jug wey you fit share if una dey for group). But dem still dey sell beer for bottle.

And den oda differences, na say dem must close around certain time. No mata how many people still wan drink you must close. In fact ee get de way dem go don program dem cash register, de tin go stop to work when closing time reach. And so when dat time don dey reach, like 30 mins to de time, de bar tender go begin shout 'last call'. Dat one mean say if you still wan buy drinks, make you hurry buy before dem close.