I BEEN GO FISHING

Last weekend be my first time to eva go fishing. I been dey idle, so I decide to do sometin to occupy my time. So I decide to “go fishing” with my pals. Dem don dey worry me to join dem.  So early Saturday, we come go walmart. I buy my own fishing pole and bait. I buy plastic fish as bait but my friends tell me to buy worms. I get to use worms because ee dey more effective.

All my life for Naija I neva fish before. I don live most of my life for Port Harcourt, and with all de wata wey surround de place, I neva one day say make I “go catch fish”. My papa and mama don warn us well well to no eva go near any river for de area. But I remember de day when I follow my friends go one stream wey dey near awa house, and I almost drown. Na so my popsi flog crase comot for my body dat day.

So dat fia of wata still dey my mind. But dis last Saturday I decide to face my fear. We use my friend boat.

MY NAIJA ACCENT

“Hmmmm…., dat accent no from around here. You sound like person from foreign country”. Dis na wetin I dey hia almost every day. “Where you from?” go be de next quesion. My usual answer na “Najia”. But with time I come begin tell dem "Carribean". Even if I tell dem France, dem no go know weda na true or na lie (most yankee people no know anytin outside dem country).

Den you go come see patronizing, “oh I love ya accent” or “I always like to hia you speak”. I dey always take am as compliment. And I realize say I dey always say tank you. Why I dey say “tank you”, me I no sabi.

But I later come notice say no be everybody like my accent. In fact some no even understand wetin I dey talk sometimes.

YANKEE PEOPLE AND NAIJA FOOD

As she begin eat de rice and stew, na so her face come begin change. Den she come dey smile dey nod her head like say she remember sometin. My friend Cathy, don dey worry me for long to cook my Naija food for her. She say she go like taste my country food.

Me sef don dey dodge her every time she ask. Any time wey she raise de topic, I go tell her say I no get de tins I need to cook for her. Den she come tell me to write de list of wetin I need so dat she go go buy dem for me. I write list give her, de usual tins to cook stew: tomato, pepper, meat, maggi (yes dem get magi for here) e.t.c.

Like play like play, she don go buy de tins wey I write for de list. She call